Dearest Mr. Shankly Fans,
You live in:
Los Angeles
New York
San Francisco
Washington State
Davis, CA
London
Vienna
Tokyo
Singapore
Taiwan
Bialystok, Poland
Anakra, Turkey
Bergamo, Italy
Indonesia
Malaysia
Philadelphia
Las Vegas
Delray Beach
Chicago
to name a few locales
In our efforts to better serve you, we have been stalking each of you. We are world citizens after all and we at Mr. Shankly just wanted to know where OUR dogs were at.
We still don't know where all of our dogs are, but we know know the following about you:
You prefer to visit Mr. Shankly on Mondays.
Mornings are your favorite time to visit, particularly between 10am-noon.
Someone in Washington loves us. And we can only guess that that someone also likes to hop the border into Idaho.
Someone in London loves us, and you too in Vienna. We are crazy about you.
You rarely visit on Sundays. Maybe your church doesn't have wireless.
You seem to like the wet look.
One of you found our site by googling the keywords, CHLOROFORM KIDNAP. Bravo! I don't know how you did it. Try it, it's impossible to find us this way. Too many Chloro-sex websites.
Some of you find Shankly comforting.
Some of you fear Shankly. You want to be on Shankly's good side, but you don't quite know how. Here's how - send us an email or comment.
Some of you let Shankly boss you around and abuse you, and you always say you're going to leave, but when Shankly comes by with a box of Russel Stover Chocolate Covered Cherries and a mini-teddy bear, you forget about all the pain and you stay. Good.
Some of you might think it's creepy that we know this about you, but how would we would we show that we cared? We don't actually know much, Google Analytics is pretty vague if you are getting the free version as we are.
Thank you so much for giving us a reason to be on the internet other than scanning Craigslist Missed Connections for our almost brushes with fate.
We love you all, we appreciate your visits and when Shankly Swag arrives, we will be sure to send you our branded therapeutic Koosh Balls and other Shankly approved stress reducers.
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2 comments:
dear shankly, for a month now I have not been able to tell the difference between sunday and any other day of the week, other than the fact that in Europe - thank god - we still cherish the day of the lord by closed shops and such. tomorrow is monday and I committed to a small job and the mere fact that i actually HAVE to go somewhere is less depressing than annoying to me. this despite that NOT having to go anywhere has also increasingly gotten... well... mind-numbing? regardless, this is to confirm that I, the non-anonymous reader from who-knows-where-in-Europe have read and understood your post on a sunday. and thank you.
Little My,
Thank you for your report from Europe, the land that invented boring Sundays. I hope that your earning commitment served you well. Also, it should be noted that outside the US of A, the highest number of visitors to this blog come from Vienna. Thank you so much, and would you please have a little schnitzel for me. I shall dress like Captain von Trapp tomorrow in your honor.
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