Out of Office Reply

Dearest Shankly Readers,

If you were wondering why I haven't been logging my usual sarcastic reports from the office, it's because it's a little difficult to do it from the Beaches of Phuket.

My shit, and the rest of me is on vacation with the beloved until the end of the month. I will try to report to you from the ground here at Phuket as time and internet connections permit.

Please stand by for reports of this land.

For now, I will tell you this - we've been getting ripped off, but we're quickly racking up the anti-rip off skills. The food here is fantastic. Hot and humid here means that the organism I once referred to as my hair, is actually a sleeping giant, rising and expanding by the minute. I'm beaded in sweat, my hair has taken over my head - I don't look good.

The mosquito bites on my arm make it look as though my arms have developed little nipples.

The beach looks like it fell off a post card rack. There are no emails to check. No memos to scoff at, just sleeping, eating, and daily massages.

I will keep you posted. I promise. Hard to type here as I'm sweating up a storm.

Wish you were here.

Yours Very Truly,

Employee835