Welcome Back Bitch!

Hello everyone,
So employee 835 is back in this land of Hilary and T.V. sitcom writer strikes. He was missed but his posts have kept us all company and gave us an excellent insight into his and Poodle M’s adventures. I personally would like to hear more about these adventures outside of the confines of the cube and douche bag alliances that surround us. I have personally given up any further retaliation against my cubeiverse and have accepted it with open arms. I’ve done this for a few reasons. 1. I have a job and I should be extremely thankful for that. 2. I have a job that allows me to do crap like this. 3. Free food sometimes.

Of course there’s always something better out there and searching and attaining that is the American Way. But, since I’m kind of anti-American and after seeing how Employee 835 observed and absorbed the culture on his adventures you probably noticed like I did that he really had fun in all of the differences and craziness that’s the rest of the world. America is weird. This is one of the weirdest places on the planet. We are the douche bag of countries. I don’t want to contribute to the doucheness of my own country anymore. Instead of giving up and moving to a country that’s more like a case of cheap beer (Canada) I think it’s better to stay here. Do what we can and when we can to take a little wind out of the sails of the USS Douche bag.

That’s where Mr. Shankly comes in. All you readers out there know that we’re right there with you. We’ll tell you how it is on the front lines, in our cubes, with our co-workers, or other observations in and outside of the workspace. We want to inspire you to just take a break from the drudgery you maybe experiencing and chill out by the water cooler with us . . .

So today I went down to the .99 cent store for my afternoon snacks and this is usually one of my favorite things to do because, I get away from the phones and gray walls and floors and get to be with the people and see tons of cheap shit. You know what I'm saying, strange packaged snacks with chili-peanuts, DVD's of movies you've never heard of, clothing, plants, you name it it's there and it's only .99 cents! So I guess it’s kind of like a mini-Thailand. I guess you can consider .99 cent stores as foreign lands because, I think either you go there all the time or you never go there. Some people will never eat the food from there but, will gladly get all their hazardous household chemicals from it. Maybe that conflict of energy created by random junk and the whirlpool of old people, moms, and house keepers just creates this perfect storm of capitalism at work.

One inspiring individual was at the .99 cent store today, and I’m glad we crossed paths. He was an older gentleman and he was wearing a rather nice Kings crown and had on a black t-shirt with his own portrait airbrushed on it with a Kings crown on. It was incredible. Was this Jackass? What was going on? The crown would have been one thing. The t-shirt another. But, together they formed a tableau to be discussed and referred to for ages. I wasn’t the only one who noticed and we were all in awe of his divine prescene. We were really seeing a King among us serfs at the .99 cent store. What a day to be alive and to have these eyes witness his majesty.

If you’re going to retire that’s the way to roll. He was asking people in the check out line how to get to south Fairfax because; he needed to see a lawyer and he was a Korea vet so it was free or something senile and boarder line crazy. What I love thinking about is this guy is on an adventure all day in this outfit. He gets to inspire other people and trip them out in his choice of clothing options. Seeing him totally made me look forward to growing old. Maybe I’ll be wandering around one day exhibiting my personal freedom in completely strange yet very deliberate attire. It just makes you glad to be alive so that you can see moments like that and know that yes, God exists, and he’s here on earth walking among us wearing a crown and t-shirt.