Cinch It!

We were originally going to tell you about the fires. We wanted to tell you about the thick blanket of Armageddon that's been choking us all around here, the freeway closures, the endless, heartbreaking stories about people and their horses, how some people are thanking god for sparing their houses, and others are bitterly asking god why them. But all that is trumped by saggin’.

This article on NPR.org reports on the city of Dallas pleading all those who sag to "pull up your pants".

The Article

Why now? Don't you think it's too late? Isn't that a little Stepford?

Employee835: I'm about to pull the Country When Country Wasn't Cool Card, which is to say, my ten year old ass knew full well in the early 80s that saggin’ was not only inconvenient and inappropriate, it was dumb as shit. I, and all of my friends with pants did not need this spelled out to us, although it seemed many at the time did. At the GoKart place in Pomona, CA, item 2 on the dress code specifically and emphatically stated that "Pants must be worn on or above the waist AT ALL TIMES."

The article quotes the Mayor, a dude named Caraway as saying the following:

"This is not just a teenage problem," Caraway says. "There are people sagging ... in their 30s. You know, where's your mind? You're not a teenager."

People in their 30s, sagging? These are my peers. Where did we go wrong? Was it the lack of head start programs?

Dear City of Dallas, Duh. A little GoKart place by the railroad tracks at the corner of Reservoir and State Street had this figured out long before much of this country was down with OPP. By my own estimates, saggin' has been going on for a solid QUARTER CENTURY at least, and you're only now sending out your team of rappers with the message to keep it at the hip? It seems to me that you should post a sign at the perimeter of the City stating the City of Dallas Dress Code.

What’s the big deal?


Foreverever: Well Employee835, you bring up an excellent point that the world maybe reaching Armageddon and that the societal rules of dress codes is something that still plagues some communities like wild fires in SoCal. We know the fires will come, we know they will cause damage but, we just don't know how much damage. Just like baggy pants exposing young men's asses is endangering our communities and causing wild fires of their own.

I feel that I have a really open mind toward fashion, music, etc. but, yes the saggin' pants thing even has me a little worried. But, then it got me thinking about mini-skirts. Which are almost the opposite of saggin' pants. Super short skirts primarily on women showing off the legs and going right up to the ass-line caused their own controversies back in the day. I'm not sure if mini-skirts started in prison but, they may have just like the baggy pants fad. So the saggin' pants is like the reverse of the mini-skirt but, this time we get ass. What do you think?


Employee835: Point taken re the miniskirt. Basically, with one, you are looking UP the ass, and with the other, you are looking DOWN the ass. And I guess that I prefer up the ass - for women and for men. I see your point and I had no idea that saggin' would go down in fashion history as the upside down cousin of the miniskirt.

I'd like to point out though, that the miniskirt was one of the early forms of dress and that it was simply reintroduced to extremely conservative humans in the 60s using cotton, silk, polyester, and spandex. I've seen National Geographic - miniskirts rule in

Africa
(the Maasai Tribe)
Oceania
(the Maori)
and the Americas.
(Chumash Native Americans)

They don't cover much, but the people of the world, throughout time seem to agree, mini, micro, maxi, grass, scraps, etc. that the waist is the proper anchor, and it’s been that way since fig leaves were the miniskirt du jour.

Pants fastened around the thighs makes ZERO sense. Even if you liked the look, you can't run, you can't stand up straight, you can't walk, jump over fences, nothing.

It seems pretty obvious.


Foreverever: Thanks for the expose historical cultural history and anthropological fact finding on this one! You are always good at looking up facts and asses, Employee835. So now that we've seen through human history the exposing of legs and butts is rather common and that the waist line is the suitable place to secure your lower body covering, we need to examine why someone would want to go against societal and almost humanistic properties of dress.

So we all know saggin' is completely dysfunctional. You have to walk slow and hold your pants up and if you drop something you just have to leave it and shuffle away. We know this style came from prisons where belts were forbidden because, of their use for suicide or weapons or whatever. So then it goes into our street culture glorifying violence, drugs, sex, and the prospect of being in jail.

But, i don't think these guys and sometimes girls are wearing saggin' pants to tap into that prison style. They're just doing it to fuck with us. To make us feel uncomfortable as the youth have always been doing since the dawn of time.

I do like the idea of going pantsless. These body legging things coming out of Berlin are cool and when they're flesh colored they make it look like women aren't wearing any pants for a split second. So where is all of this going? Toward a ring in hell possibly. But, it might just be one of those things we think is funny and stupid and i'm kind of content with that.


Employee835: That’s just it, they are fucking with only a few people. I certainly find it born of pure dipshittery, but it’s not my call to tell people to cinch it.

I'm also glad you mentioned prison style. Here is a video of a prisoner warning kids NOT TO SAG. In the first few minutes, he clearly states, "You know what they do to people who sag in jail? They stick they fingers down they butt."

So if saggin' is about bringing the prison to the streets, then it's for those who don't see the need to run, jump, or walk, but could use a random, unsolicited ano/rectal exam once in a while. All the guy is saying is that saggin’ is dumb and it tells others that you may already be someone’s bitch, but he moves on to bigger issues.

The Video

Do you think that the peeps on the streets have severely misinterpreted the meaning of the sag?


Foreverever: Yhea, I think this sag thing like most of our fads and cultural inconsistencies was totally taken out of proportion and then you have the norm kind of freaking out about it. Kids are always going to be trying to one up each other. At first it was just wearing them low so you're butt crack hung out. Then so your butt, hung out, and i guess now they're around your knees. So whatever, if you're doing it to draw attention to yourself then you've succeeded and maybe that's what saggin' is all about.

In jail "saggin" as a way of saying your available and on the streets as a way of saying i'm here, my butt is hanging out, and i'm walking really slow?

Employee835: My original question was this, 25 years ago, it was obvious to many kids that it was dumb, but we went with it, and for a time, some of us got on board with the House Music and the Rave wear, but ultimately a number of us went back to form fitting clothing. I'm just wondering why it is only now that cities like Dallas are making anything about it, and why it matters so much.

In the NPR article, the Mayor says: "The No. 1 mission is very simple: pulling up your pants. That's all we want, we don't want to throw folks in jail because they wear their pants low. So we're going to make it man's law and not city law."

It feels like WE ARE AT A CRISIS. WE HAVE TO LEGISLATE. WE HAVE TO STOP IT. Someone is going to sit their naked ass on a Bus!

Foreverever: I think what's happening in Dallas is that the Mayor and town council people or whoever are stupid. Like really, 1000's of kids are going around like this causing havoc? Traffic comes to a halt, people jumping out of windows, rap songs and billboards need to be utilized to make dudes pull their pants up? They need to worry about teen pregnancy, guns, and hardcore drug use. WTF? This is exactly what's happening in our country at a national and local level. Picking something stupid to worry about. Just let kids do what they do and you know they'll grow out of it or trip and fall in front of some girl they like and then pull their pants up. It takes a while for style trends to reach the Midwest and south. They're about 10 years behind the times when it comes to style. Dallas is going at it the wrong way. When you make something an issue it totally makes it gain more attention. And then more people will be pulling their pants down. If they made all the cops sag their pants for a month I bet all those kids will pull their pants up and start getting Gumby cuts.

It just comes funneling down from the stupid government. People have always been doing stupid shit and then other people have to worry about them and make it a huge deal. Where are our freedoms to sag and look stupid? Next they'll be kicking bikes off the road in LA based on "man's law" I really like that. "man's law" could you be anymore sexiest and hypocritical?. . .ha ah aha ha ha ha. .. Next time you see me I'll be saggin.

*****

And we’ll close with this word from Notthead.

We could go on, but we are going to leave the last word to you.

Thank you for checking in with us, and whether up or down, keep your pants clean for work, you wouldn’t want them to think you weren’t serious about your office job.